Unwanted gift : Catharsis

A new face around here huh...

Passing days, passing people. She's still around.
Maybe I should say something. No.

From the moment I open my eyes to the wee hours it's here, it's in my head.
Why am I being obsessed, of such a small and fragile thing, a face, an image. No talk, no bounds, no glance. A reflection of misery.
This is no beauty, but a wonderful nightmare. I cannot breathe, I feel sick. Disgusted of myself, pathetic, naïve weakness. The monster of shame, the one who seeks what does not belong to him. Why are you doing this to me. I did not ask for this. There was no light, no warmth. Just endless comfort.

It's all your fault. I'm tired of feeling guilty. I'm tired of shutting my mouth and my heart. Why should I be ashamed. I want to scream, to yell what's inside. I want all this beauty to be free, to shine, brighted by sun's rays. I want to be selfish, I want to be bold, I want to be powerfull. I want you. Taken or not.
Just disappear. Leave me.

And yet, am I not thankfull. For this, for what everyone craves. For what shatters your soul, what drives people. For feeling alive.
For this unwanted gift.